An awkward introduction

So I'm giving this blogging thing a chance. I figure that it might help me realize that my irrational thoughts really are irrational, and that I should actually try to be a little bit normal for a little bit.

I guess I will start from the beginning.

When I was 8 years old, my mom took me to a coach (it was actually a shrink, but she called it a coach to make me feel better. She was probably more like a life coach or something, but who needs a life coach when they are 8?). I totally remember loving this. I only saw this woman once, but I remember it being awesome. First of all, this woman was amazing. She had crazy long, brown hair that was so poofy and curly that you could tell she never brushed it, and she was wearing a long teal dress. I remember that she gave me candy and we talked about life while letting me draw. I loved drawing, but I had trouble being creative. I always wanted to be the best, most creative person, but my mind would never let me draw things that I had never seen before. So I drew a clock while I was talking to my coach. But not just any clock. Do you remember the clock from Beauty and the Beast? Yep, I drew Cogsworth. And I remember doing a pretty damn good job too! I really wanted to keep this drawing, but my coach didn't let me. She had to keep it or something. Whatever.

After drawing Cogsworth and eating candy, my mom had to talk to the woman by herself. So I had to sit in the waiting room. I always loved waiting rooms. They had every copy of the children's magazine Highlights that has ever existed. I loved Highlights. My Grandma bought my sister and I a subscription to Highlights one year and we received them for years, at least until I was in middle school, because I remember still reading it when I was in 7th grade (Which is so embarrassing at the time. I was 13 and reading a magazine that I thought 6 year olds read to entertain themselves.) So after reading a few copies of Highlights, meaning after looking at all the pictures and playing all the games in it that I could without writing in it (for some reason, I have always had a giant phobia of writing in magazines. I think I am subconsciously worried that the next person to read them would think, "Well, this copy of Highlights is completely and utterly DESTROYED! How dare someone write in this?!" I always feel like they know that I am the one that did it and that they obviously knew where I lived and then they would come to my house and tell my mom and then my mom would ground me.), my mom came out and we left the doctor's office. We then had to go to Target.

I loved Target. However this trip to Target was different than any other one before it. This is when I discovered the pharmacy. I loved the pharmacy more than the whole of Target it's self. That's where the heart-rate monitor was. I loved the heart-rate monitor. I loved that I could put my arm in a squishy tube, press a button, then watch the squishy tube fill with air until it squeezed my arm really tightly. I didn't even know what the numbers on the machine meant, and frankly, I didn't care! I just loved the squishy tube. My love and obsession with the squishy tube would continue on into my early teen years; it probably stopped around the same time I stopped reading Highlights. That was when being cool and popular was the most important thing in the world. And that I had to get a boyfriend. Getting a boyfriend was more important that being cool and popular. I think I stopped reading Highlights at the doctor's office and checking my heart-rate at Target because what if I saw my future boyfriend there?! They would see me and think, "Man that chick is a loser. No one reads Highlights anymore. That was soooo 5th grade."

The day after my mom took me to the greatest place in the world, aka the Target Pharmacy, my dad made me cinnamon toast for breakfast. Cinnamon toast was my favorite breakfast; it was like dessert for breakfast! What kid doesn't want that?! He also handed me two little bright blue pills and a glass of water. He said "Meagan, you have to take these right now because the doctor says you have to take them with food." I thought this meant that I had to wrap these little pills in my cinnamon toast. I did this and tried to eat it, but it did not taste good. I told my dad what I had done because I could not do it again with the other pill. He told me that I was supposed to take the pills with water then eat my toast, so that's what I did. And what a discovery it was! The pills didn't taste bad at all! Then I went off to school, and went on with my day.

And this is how my 10 year relationship with Attention Deficit Disorder and Adderall began.