Cobb Salad

People are like food. You love the types that are the worst for you, like a big piece of devil's food cake with chocolate ganache. And you hate the types that are good for you that your body will love, like brussel sprouts.

And some people are like Cobb salad.

Cobb salad appears to be healthy, you know, because it's a salad. It has romaine lettuce, carrots, cherry tomatoes, hard boiled eggs, avocado, ham, and cheese. I mean it's not perfect but it provides you with a good source of veggies and proteins that will fulfill your day. You think that your body will love you! Woo way to go being healthy! And damn it tastes good too. But after a few bites you look closer. The romaine is actually iceburg and it's still a little bit wilted. There are like five pieces of carrot, and your cherry tomatoes aren't quite sweet enough. The hard boiled eggs are over done and your avocado is just a little bit too brown. And then you remember that ham and cheese actually both have quite a bit of fat, but you continue on anyway. You keep eating because it's better to have something than nothing. And although it's not all that bad for you, you kind of hate it because you spent money and time on it but you decided to finish it anyway. At this point it really sucks. And then you hit the bottom of the bowl. Bacon. So much bacon everywhere. You love bacon. You live for bacon. You love this Cobb salad because of the FUCKING BACON! Bacon. Bacon. Bacon. BACON! It's so bad for you and you should be upset but you love that fucking bacon because it is fucking bacon. And then you are done.

No more bacon. No more salad. It's all gone.

Now I can't speak for you, but I try not to eat Cobb salad. Even though I order it from time to time, it can be a very tiresome routine. It's never different, and always the same. Boring. Cobb salad is boring.

That only leaves 2 solutions: discover a devil's food cake that won't kill us or learn to love brussel sprouts.